Meghan, Diana, drugs and therapy: what Harry says in the Apple TV series | Prince harry


TThe Duke of Sussex accused the royal family of ‘utter silence and utter neglect’ as his wife, Meghan struggled to adjust to palace life, and said the family had tried to prevent the couple leaving.

In a new mental health documentary series starring Oprah Winfrey, Prince Harry talks about how he turned to drink and drugs to hide the trauma of his mother’s death, and also his fears that media harassment would grow. ends with the death of his own wife.

Over five episodes of The Me You Can’t See, airing on Apple TV +, it revealed that prior to the couple’s previous interview with Oprah, “the combined efforts of the firm and the media” to smear Meghan’s had left her crying in her pillow at night.

His biggest regret, he said, did not call up racism in mainstream and social media early enough, claiming that Diana, Princess of Wales “was cast to death while in a relationship with someone. ‘one who was not white. And now look what happened. You mean history repeating itself. They are not going to stop until she dies.

The high-profile interview was about his therapy and how he thought his mother would be proud of him.

Meghan’s struggles

Harry said, “I thought my family would help, but every request, request, warning, whatever it is, has just been met in utter silence, utter neglect.

“We spent four years trying to make it work. We did everything we could to stay there and continue to play the part and get the job done. But Meghan was struggling.

Meghan, while six months pregnant with Archie, told him about her thoughts of suicide just before the two were due at a charity event at the Royal Albert Hall in south-west London.

“What kept her from seeing through was how unfair it would be for me after everything that had happened to my mother, and now to be put in the position of losing another woman in my life. with a baby inside of her, our baby, ”he said. He added: “I was ashamed that it had deteriorated to this point. I was ashamed to go to my family, because to be honest with you like a lot of other people my age that my age can probably relate to, I know I’m not going to get from my family what I need.

This Oprah interview

In an apparent reference to the bullying allegations against Meghan that emerged ahead of the March interview, he said: “ Due to their headlines and this combined effort by the company and the media to smear her, I woke up in the middle of the night. to her crying into her pillow … it’s heartbreaking. I held it. We talked. She cried and she cried and she cried.

Of the interview, in which an anonymous member of the royal family was accused of racism, he said: “I like to think that we were able to speak the truth in the most compassionate way possible, thus leaving room for reconciliation and healing.

“The interview was about being real, being authentic, and hopefully sharing an experience that we know is incredibly relatable to many people around the world despite our unique privileged position.

Harry and Meghan are interviewed by Oprah Winfrey in March
Harry and Meghan are interviewed by Oprah Winfrey in March. Photograph: Reuters

Leaving the royal bosom

“This feeling of being trapped in the family, there was no option to leave. Finally, when I made this decision for my family, I was always told that you couldn’t do this. And I was like, ‘How bad does it have to get until I’m allowed to do it? She was going to end her life? He shouldn’t have to get there ”.”

Making the trip to the United States “was really scary. As with every possible opportunity, the forces were working against us, trying to make this impossible. Did I expect to find ourselves in this situation so quickly? No, I think we did a really good job. And I have no regrets. It is incredibly sad. But I have no regrets because now I’m in a place where I feel like I should have been four years ago.

Diana’s death

As he walked behind his 12-year-old mother’s coffin, he said, “To me, what I remember is the sound of horses’ hooves lining the mall.” He and William were “both in shock”. “It was like I was outside of my body and walking doing what was expected of me. Showing a tenth of the emotion everyone was showing. He remembers feeling angry at the crying crowd, thinking, ‘She’s my mom. You haven’t even met her.

Overwhelmed by his loss, he suffered from panic attacks and anxiety. “I just decided not to talk about it. No one was talking about it.

He fled to the army, where he “felt most normal” in his youth, especially in Afghanistan “away from the media”. “But I was going to have to face my past because there was anger there.

Harry (right) and Prince William bow their heads as their mother's casket is taken out of Westminster Abbey after her funeral service in 1997
Harry (right) and Prince William bow their heads as their mother’s casket is taken out of Westminster Abbey after her funeral service in 1997. Photograph: Adam Butler / AFP / Getty Images

Drinking and drugs

He was in “fight or flight mode”. “Panic attacks, severe anxiety from 28 to probably 32 years old have been a nightmare in my life.

“I was ready to drink. I was ready to take drugs. I was willing to try and do the things that made me feel less how I felt.

“OK, I didn’t drink Monday through Friday, but I would probably drink it for a week in a day, on a Friday or Saturday night. And I found myself drinking not because I liked it, but because I was trying to cover something up.


“Towards the end of my twenties, I was starting to wonder if I really should be here. And that’s when I suddenly started to say, “You can’t keep hiding from this.” “

He’s been in therapy for over four years, which he started in earnest because he feared losing Meghan if “I didn’t do therapy and fix myself.

“There was a lot of learning early on in our relationship. She was shocked to return behind the scenes of the institution, of the British royal family.

He said: “I realized that I had lived in a bubble within this family, this institution. And I was almost trapped in the thinking process, or in a state of mind.

He is shown in a video session having eye movement desensitization retreatment therapy (EMDR), and reveals that throughout his life the return to London triggered anxiety “because of what happened. to my mother, of what I experienced and what I saw ”. His negative thoughts are “like being cast out and helpless”.

Therapy equipped him to be able to “face anything,” he said. “That’s why I’m here now. That’s why my wife is here now.

Prince Harry with his mother in 1995
Prince Harry with his mother in 1995. “I’m living the life she wanted to live for herself. Photograph: Martin Keene / PA


His biggest regret is “not taking a stand earlier in my relationship with my wife” and calling it racism. “History repeated itself, my mother was chased to death when she was in a relationship with someone who was not white. And now look what happened. You mean history repeating itself. They are not going to stop until she dies. Referring to the media, he said, “And it all comes down to the same people, the same business model, the same industry.

“My dad would tell me when I was younger, he would say to William and me, ‘Well, it was like that for me. It’s gonna be like that for you. That does not make sense. It is not because you have suffered that your children have to suffer. In fact, quite the opposite. “


“They are desperately trying to control the narrative. Because they know that if they lose it, the truth will come out, ”he said of the media coverage.

He added: “Family members said, ‘Just play the game and your life will be easier.’ But I have a lot of my mother in me. I feel like I’m outside the system, but I’m still stuck there.


“I have no doubt that my mother would be incredibly proud of me. I’m living the life she wanted to live for herself. Live the life she wanted us to be able to live. So not only do I know that she’s incredibly proud of me, but that she helped me get here. And I have never felt his presence as much as I have in the past year.


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